Birthdays aren't Bad

This week was my 31st birthday. A lot of my friends are saddened by us growing older and entering our thirties. Honestly, I feel better with every year that passes! I wouldn't go back to the anxiety of my twenties for anything: I had no idea what I was doing, felt so trapped in a career that was sucking my soul away. Nah - I am embracing this decade and all the wondrous things that are to come. I spent my birthday having the most perfect day - working! Let's face it, when art is your job it never really feels like 'work'.

I feel like I have broken through a new barrier this week. I decided that I wasn't going to do anything to earn money that I didn't feel complete fulfillment from and simply making that decision has made room for some pretty awesome things to come my way. As my sister quite rightly informed me, the universe had a whole load of stuff waiting for me to say, 'I'm ready'. These great leaps in growth and progress always come with a dose of imposter syndrome though. As I break through the barrier into something new, someone comes up to meet me in my head to question what I'm doing so that I am cowed back to doubt and uncertainty. This is normal though; we have to reach out for those people who can shout louder than that voice and help us through to confidence again. I wrote a poem about this a while back:

Hail the imposter, herald of potential.

'Push back, go back,' she says.

But you will not be deterred.

Welcome the imposter,

For she is your light,

Your guide in these uncharted waters

Know the imposter,

And all her encroaching black thoughts.

For when she arrives, you are changed.

Here's what I've been working on this week:

I've been pushed out of my comfort zone a few times this week. I finished a commission for a friend, a painting of a huge sculpture in Iceland. He gave me a photograph to work from and I think it turned out pretty well. I usually stay away from anything that requires such precision so this was a really lovely challenge! I made some huge progress in the third session of my oil painting class with Garth Bayley this week too. I stood back from my landscape at the end of the session and beamed: it is absolutely some of my best work. And I never thought I'd be saying that about a landscape! Working with a palette knife has been wonderful and I feel like it's forcing me into 'play mode' with paint rather than being stuck in a rut of repeating what's gone before. Really enjoying making these angry little embroidery collages as well. Just making these for fun and to get more practice with my sewing machine!

On Friday, I made the trip up to Durham at the Dead Dog Gallery where Lewis Hobson opened his most recent project exhibition on the history of the Durham Ice Rink. Lewis is doing some amazing work as both Durham Spray Paints and his new initiative CYAN CIC. I really feel a kindred spirit in people who branch out to connect with others in such a fiercely passionate was as Lewis does. Check out everything he has go going on: https://www.cyancic.uk/

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